美文賞析:運用智慧適時舍得

　　美文賞析:運用智慧 適時舍得

　　舍得舍得，有舍才有得；人生亦是如此。一條路走不通，適時的轉個彎，或許會更加精彩；也許，我們舍不得自己付出的時間和精力，但塞翁失馬，焉知非福，有時候需要勇敢的放下，去追求另一種更適合自己的生活。

　　There once was a master who went to India. In those times, we didn't have the communications or airplanes or many kinds of transportation that we do now. So the master went to India on foot. He had never been to India before; perhaps he came from Persia. And when he got there, he saw a lot of fruit. In India they have plenty of fruit to sell, but much of it is expensive because they can't grow much due to the water situation. So he saw one basket, a big basket of some very red, long fruit. And it was the cheapest in the shop, not expensive at all.

　　從前有一位師父，他到印度去，那時候因為交通不發達，沒有飛機，不像現在一樣有很多交通工具，所以這位師父就步行去印度。他有可能是波斯人，以前沒去過印度。他到印度時，看見許許多多的水果。在印度，有時因為缺水的緣故，水果產量不多，許多小店雖然擺滿了水果，但多半都很貴。那位師父發現有個大籃子里面裝著一種紅色長條形的水果，這種水果的價格最便宜，一點都不貴.

　　So he went up and asked, "How much per kilo?" And the shopkeeper said, "Two rupees." Two rupees in India is nothing; it's like dirt. So he bought a whole kilogram of the fruit and started eating it. But after he ate some of it: Oh, my God! His eyes watered, his mouth watered and burned, his eyes were burning, his head was burning and his face became red. As he coughed and choked and gasped for breath, he jumped up and down, saying, "Ah! Ah! Ah!"

　　他就走過去詢問：“這個一公斤要多少錢？”小販回答：“兩盧比。”兩盧比在印度根本不算什么，像塵土一樣不值錢，于是他就整整買了一公斤，然后開始吃。 吃了幾口之后，這位師父就眼淚、口水齊流，眼睛發紅，嘴巴辣得像著火一樣，整個頭好像要燒起來，他又咳又嗆，滿臉通紅地喘不過氣來，在那里邊跳邊叫：“��！啊！��！”

　　But he still continued to eat the fruit! Some people who were looking at him shook their heads and said, "You're crazy, man. Those are chilies! You can't eat so many; they're not good for you! People use them as a condiment, but only a little bit to put into food for taste. You can't just eat them by the handful like that; they're not fruit!" So the stupid master said, "No, I can't stop! I paid money for them, and now I'll eat them. It's my money!"

　　不過他還是繼續吃！有人看到他這樣子后，就搖搖頭說：“老兄，你是腦袋壞掉啦？這是辣椒耶！不能吃那么多，這樣對你不好。辣椒是用來調味的，煮菜時每次只放一點點在食物里增加味道。這個不是水果，不能這樣整把拿起來吃��！”那位笨師父說：“不行，我已經花錢買了，就要把它吃完，這可都是錢哪！”

　　And you think that master was stupid, right? Similarly, we sometimes do a lot of things like that. We invest money, time or effort in a relationship, business or job. And even though it's been a long time, bitter experience tells us it won't work, and we know there's no more hope that things will change in the future - this we definitely know by intuition - we still continue just because we've invested money, time, effort and love into it. If so, we're kaput in the brain. Just like the man who ate the chilies and suffered so much but couldn't stop because he didn't want to waste the money he'd paid.

　　你們覺得這位師父很笨，是嗎？其實我們有時候也做很多類似的傻事。有時候我們在某些感情或事業工作上，投入了金錢、時間和心力，經過長期的經營之后，我們從慘痛的經驗中知道行不通，直覺也很清楚未來不會有任何轉機，但我們還是舍不得放棄，因為已經投入了金錢、時間、心力和感情在里面。像這種情形，表示說我們頭腦壞掉，就像那個吃辣椒的人一樣，明明已經那么痛苦了，還是不肯停止，只因為不想白白浪費已經付出的錢。

　　So even if you've lost something, let it go and move on. That's better than continuing to lose.

　　就算你會有所損失，還是要放下，然后繼續前進！這樣總比一直損失下去來得好。

　　美文欣賞:你可以選擇自己想過的生活

　　Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:

　　生活有時候困難得難以置信，但又不容置疑。我們面臨的挑戰與困境似乎無法抵御，試圖毀滅我們生活，甚至使你猶疑是否繼續走下去。但是你總有選擇的余地。從人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯樂普，在這里與我們分享她啟迪心靈、充滿震撼力的生活之旅。

　　In 2012 I had the worst year of my life.

　　2012年是我生活中最艱難的一年。

　　I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it.

　　我做著討厭的財務工作，住在難尋綠色的高樓林立的城市。我忙于無意義的交往，在一些膚淺表面的東西上大筆開銷。我尋找快樂，卻又不知道它在哪里。

　　Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice.

　　然后我患上了慢性疲勞綜合癥，幾乎到了臥床不起的地步。我不得不辭掉工作，同時也就斷了財源。我和那時僅相處了3個月的男友住在一起，經濟上完全依賴于他，我們的關系承受著巨大壓力。終于我恢復健康，但不久，我接到家里的電話，父親的癌癥急劇惡化，已經住進了臨終關懷中心。

　　I left the city and I went home to be with him.

　　我離開了城市，回家陪父親。

　　He died 6 months later.

　　6個月之后，他去世了。

　　My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what.

　　父親的事讓我徹底清醒。他一直很強壯，在他咽氣之后一分鐘里，我真的認為，他會活過來。我不能相信，我再也不能依偎在他溫暖的懷抱里，享受他寬大的胸懷帶給我的安全感。

　　The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other.

　　母親和我們5個兄弟姐妹極為難過，但至少我們還擁有彼此。

　　But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital.

　　但是，那時我大姐開始抱怨著背痛，2個月后，因疼痛加劇也住進了醫院。

　　They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do.

　　醫生們檢查發現，她已是骨癌晚期，對此他們已無能為力。

　　She died 1 month later.

　　1個月之后，她也走了。

　　I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life.

　　大姐的逝去讓我陷入難以形容的痛苦之中。

　　She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her.

　　在這個世界上，她是一個能走路、會說話的天使，我最喜歡的人。如果有人問我，世界上發生的最壞的事情是什么，那就是失去她。

　　She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her.

　　她是我的靈魂伴侶，我從來沒有想過，我會走過沒有她陪伴的生命旅程。

　　The Moment Of Deliberate Choice

　　抉擇時刻

　　The shock and extreme heart break brought me to my knees. The pain was so great and my world just looked desolate. I had no real home, no money, no job, and no friends that cared. Not one person had even sent me a sympathy card for my loss.

　　我被打擊和極度的心痛擊挎了。強烈的痛苦使世界在我眼中變得如此凄涼。我沒有真正意義上的家，沒有錢，沒有工作，也沒有關心我的朋友。沒有一個人因我失去親人而寄給我慰問卡。

　　I made an attempt of my own life and I ended up in hospital.

　　我嘗試著活下去，結果住進了醫院。

　　I remember lying in the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling and seeing my sister’s beautiful face. She stayed with me all night long.

　　我記得，躺在病床上，看著天花板，看到姐姐美麗的面龐。她整夜守候著我。

　　I realised during that night that I had a choice. I could choose to end my life or I could choose to live it.

　　那天晚上，我意識到我可以選擇。要么結束生命，要么活下去。

　　I looked in my sister’s eyes and I made a decision not to go with her just yet. That I would stay and complete my journey here.

　　望著姐姐的眼睛，我決定不跟她走。我要留下來，走完我的生命旅程。

　　I also made the decision that, I wouldn’t just live any life. I would live the life that I absolutely LOVE and nothing less.

　　同時，我還決定，不只為生活而生活，我要完全以自己想要的方式生活。

　　In that moment, the clarity that descended around me was like a light shining in a dark room for the first time. As if the earth’s plates had shifted under my feet and everything suddenly looked real for the first time.

　　在那一刻，這一想法第一次清晰得如同一盞在黑暗閃爍的明燈。好像腳下的地球版塊變換了，每一樣東西在我眼前都真實得前所未有。

　　美文賞析:打開心門擁抱生活

　　We often close ourselves off when traumatic events happen in our lives; instead of letting the world soften us, we let it drive us deeper into ourselves. We try to deflect the hurt and pain by pretending it doesn’t exist, but although we can try this all we want, in the end, we can’t hide from ourselves. We need to learn to open our hearts to the potentials of life and let the world soften us.

　　生活發生不幸時，我們常常會關上心門；世界不僅沒能慰藉我們，反倒使我們更加消沉。我們假裝一切仿佛都不曾發生，以此試圖忘卻傷痛，可就算隱藏得再好，最終也還是騙不了自己。既然如此，何不嘗試打開心門，擁抱生活中的各種可能，讓世界感化我們呢？

　　Whenever we start to let our fears and seriousness get the best of us, we should take a step back and re-evaluate our behavior. The items listed below are six ways you can open your heart more fully and completely.

　　當恐懼與焦慮來襲時，我們應該退后一步，重新反思自己的言行。下面六個方法有助于你更完滿透徹地敞開心扉。

　　1. Breathe into pain

　　直面痛苦

　　Whenever a painful situation arises in your life, try to embrace it instead of running away or trying to mask the hurt. When the sadness strikes, take a deep breath and lean into it. When we run away from sadness that’s unfolding in our lives, it gets stronger and more real. We take an emotion that’s fleeting and make it a solid event, instead of something that passes through us.

　　當生活中出現痛苦的事情時，別再逃跑或隱藏痛苦，試著擁抱它吧；當悲傷來襲時，試著深呼吸，然后直面它。如果我們一味逃避生活中的悲傷，悲傷只會變得更強烈更真實——悲傷原本只是稍縱即逝的情緒，我們卻固執地耿耿于懷。

　　By utilizing our breath we soften our experiences. If we dam them up, our lives will stagnate, but when we keep them flowing, we allow more newness and greater experiences to blossom.

　　深呼吸能減緩我們的感受。屏住呼吸，生活停滯；呼出呼吸，更多新奇與經歷又將拉開序幕。

　　2. Embrace the uncomfortable

　　擁抱不安

　　We all know what that twinge of anxiety feels like. We know how fear feels in our bodies: the tension in our necks, the tightness in our stomachs, etc. We can practice leaning into these feelings of discomfort and let them show us where we need to go.

　　我們都經歷過焦灼的煎熬感，也都感受過恐懼造成的生理反應：脖子僵硬、胃酸翻騰。其實，我們有能力面對這些痛苦的感受，從中領悟到出路。

　　The initial impulse is to run away — to try and suppress these feelings by not acknowledging them. When we do this, we close ourselves off to the parts of our lives that we need to experience most. The next time you have this feeling of being truly uncomfortable, do yourself a favor and lean into the feeling. Act in spite of the fear.

　　我們的第一反應總是逃避——以為否認不安情緒的存在就能萬事大吉，可這也恰好妨礙了我們經歷最需要的生活體驗。下次感到不安時，不管有多害怕，也請試著勇敢面對吧。

　　3. Ask your heart what it wants

　　傾聽內心

　　We’re often confused at the next step to take, making pros and cons lists until our eyes bleed and our brains are sore. Instead of always taking this approach, what if we engaged a new part of ourselves that isn’t usually involved in the decision making process?

　　我們常對未來猶疑不定，反復考慮利弊直到身心俱疲。與其一味顧慮重重，不如從局外人的角度看待決策之事。

　　I know we’ve all felt decisions or actions that we had to take simply due to our “gut” impulses: when asked, we can’t explain the reasons behind doing so — just a deep knowing that it had to get done. This instinct is the part of ourselves we’re approaching for answers.

　　其實很多決定或行動都是我們一念之間的結果：要是追問原因的話，恐怕我們自己也道不清說不明，只是感到直覺如此罷了。而這種直覺恰好是我們探索結果的潛在自我。

　　To start this process, take few deep breaths then ask, “Heart, what decision should I make here? What action feels the most right?”

　　開始前先做幾次深呼吸，問自己：“內心認為該做什么樣的決定呢？覺得采取哪個方案最恰當？”

　　See what comes up, then engage and evaluate the outcome.

　　看看自己的內心反應如何，然后全力以赴、靜待結果吧。

　　美文賞析:生活中你錯過了什么？

　　In this life, what did you miss?

　　在生活中，你錯過了什么？

　　The wife asked the husband when she was 25. Despondently, the husband replied: 'I missed a new job opportunity.'

　　妻子25歲的時候這樣問丈夫。丈夫沮喪地回答：“我錯過了一個新的工作機會。”

　　When she was 35, the husband angrily told her that he had just missed the bus.

　　35歲時，丈夫生氣地說他錯過了公交車。

　　At 45, the husband sadly said: 'I missed the oppotunity seeing my closed relative before his last breath.'

　　45歲時，丈夫悲傷地說：“我錯過了見至親最后一面的機會�！�

　　At 55, the husband said disappointingly: 'I missed a good chance to retire.'

　　55歲時，丈夫失望地說：“我錯過了一個退休的好機會�！�

　　At 65, the husband hurriedly replied: 'I missed a dental appointment.'

　　65歲時，丈夫匆匆地回答：“我錯過了和牙醫的預約�！�

　　At 75, the wife did not ask the husband anymore, the husband was kneeling in front of the very sick wife. Remembering the question the wife used to ask him, this time he asked the wife the same question. The wife, with a smile and peaceful look, replied: 'In this life, I did not miss having you!'

　　75歲，妻子不再問丈夫同樣的問題，丈夫跪在病重的妻子面前，想起以前妻子常常問起的那個問題，這次他也問了妻子同樣的問題，妻子笑了笑，一臉平靜地說：“我這一生，沒有錯過你！”

　　The husband was full of tears. He always thought that they could be together forever. He was always busy with work and trifles. So much so he had never been thoughtful to his wife. The husband hugged the wife tightly and said: 'Over 50 years, how I had allowed myself to miss your deep love for me.'

　　丈夫滿眼淚水，他總是認為可以和妻子白頭到老，于是總是忙于工作和瑣事，從沒在意過妻子。他緊緊地抱住妻子說：“這50多年來，我怎么能允許自己錯過了你對我的愛呢�！�

　　In the busy city life, there are many people who are always busy with work. These people revolve their lives around their jobs, these people sacrifice all their times and health to meet the social expectations. They are unwilling to spend times on health care. They miss the opportunity to be with their children in their growing up. They neglect the loved ones who care for them, and also their health.

　　在繁忙的城市生活中，有人總是忙于工作。他們整天圍著工作轉，甚至為了達到社會的標準，犧牲了自己的健康。他們不愿花時間來關注自己的健康，在孩子成長的過程中錯失了與之共享天倫之樂的機會。他們忽視了那些關心他們的人，以及他們的健康。

　　Nobody knows what is going to happen one year from now.

　　沒有人知道一年后會發生什么事情。

　　Life is not permanent, so always live in the now. Express your gratitude to your loved ones in words. Show your care with actions. Treat everyday as the last episode of life. In this way, when you are gone, you loved ones would have nothing to feel sorry about.

　　生命不是永恒的，所以活在當下吧。把你對愛人的感謝說出來，用行動證明你關心他們。把每一天當作人生的最后一個篇章，只有這樣，當你離開時，你愛的人們才會沒有遺憾。

　　美文賞析:去經歷去體驗 做最好最真實的自己

　　Truly happy and successful people get that way by becoming the best, most genuine version of themselves they can be. Not on the outside--on the inside. It's not about a brand, a reputation, a persona. It's about reality. Who you really are.

　　真正快樂成功的人會長成最好最真實的自己——從內心而非外表上。重要的不是品牌、名譽或者外表形象，而是真實的自我。

　　Sounds simple, I know. It is a simple concept. The problem is, it's very hard to do, it takes a lot of work, and it can take a lifetime to figure it out.

　　道理很簡單，講出來也很容易。但問題是，做起來就不簡單了：這需要付諸很多努力，甚或一輩子才能實現。

　　Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy. If you want to do great work, it's going to take a lot of hard work to do it. And you're going to have to break out of your comfort zone and take some chances that will scare the crap out of you.

　　需要窮盡畢生精力的事情必定不容易。成大事者必先苦其心志。因此，你必須走出舒適區，去經歷、去體驗那些會讓你害怕的機會。

　　But you know, I can't think of a better way to spend your life. I mean, what's life for if not finding yourself and trying to become the best, most genuine version of you that you can be?

　　況且，人這一輩子，若到頭來都認不清自己、未能長成最好最真實的自己，還有什么意義呢？

　　That's what Steve Jobs meant when he said this at a Stanford University commencement speech:

　　正如史蒂夫-喬布斯在斯坦福大學的畢業典禮上所言：

　　Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.

　　時間寶貴，不要虛擲光陰過著他人的生活。不要讓周遭的聒噪言論蒙蔽你內心的.聲音。

　　You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

　　你要相信，生活中的偶然冥冥中也能指引未來。你要心懷信念——相信你的直覺、命運、生活抑或因緣。這個方法一直給我力量，促使我過得卓然不同。

　　The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.

　　成大事的唯一途徑就是做自己喜歡的事情。若你還沒找到，那就繼續追尋吧，不要停下來。

　　Now, let's for a moment be realistic about this. Insightful as that advice may be, it sounds a little too amorphous and challenging to resonate with today's quick-fix culture. These days, if you can't tell people exactly what to do and how to do it, it falls on deaf ears.

　　現在我們來實際一點：建議或許很深刻，但聽完卻讓人無從著手，難以運用到當今的快節奏文化中�，F如今，如果一個建議講不清具體做什么、該怎么做的話，那么說了也等于白說。

　　Not only that, but what Jobs was talking about, what I'm talking about, requires focus and discipline, two things that are very hard to come by these days. Why? Because, focus and discipline are hard. It's so much easier to give in to distraction and instant gratification. Easy and addictive.

　　不僅如此，喬布斯的講話和我要說的話都需要集中和自制——這兩個品質在當今社會非常難能可貴。何以見得？因為集中和自制都不容易做到。人們很容易分散注意力、尋求即時快感——舒服且容易上癮。

　　To give you a little incentive to take on the challenge, to embark on the road to self-discovery, here are three huge benefits from working to become the best, most genuine version of yourself.

　　為激勵你迎接挑戰、踏上尋求自我的旅途，我列出了成為最好最真實自己后的三大益處：

　　It will make you happy. Getting to know yourself will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. It will reduce your stress and anxiety. It will make you a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend. It will make you a better person. Those are all pretty good reasons, if you ask me.

　　你會感到快樂。了解自己后會讓你更愉悅地接受自己，減輕你的壓力和焦慮，使你成為更好的伴侶、父母、朋友，讓你成為一個更美好的人。這些益處難道不夠說服你為之努力嗎？

　　Besides, you really won't achieve anything significant in life until you know the real you. Not your brand, your LinkedIn profile, how you come across, or what anyone thinks of you. The genuine you. There's one simple reason why you shouldn't try to be something you're not, and it's that you can't. The real you will come out anyway. So forget your personal brand and start spending time on figuring out who you really are and trying to become the best version of that you can be.

　　而且，只有了解真實的自己方能成就大事。你需要了解那個真實的你，而不是你的品牌、名譽、LinkedlIn資料、你的過去抑或他人對你的看法。為什么你不應該過他人的生活？很簡單，因為首先你不是“其他人”，你的本性總有一天會現形。所以，請放開你的品牌形象，努力發掘真實自我、努力把自己經營成最好的自己吧。

　　美文賞析:愛情不是商品

　　Love Is Not Like Merchandise

　　愛情不是商品

　　A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, "If I steal a nickel's worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another's wife, I am free."

　　佛羅里達州的一位讀者顯然是在個人經歷上受過創傷, 他寫信來抱怨道: “如果我偷走了五分錢的商品, 我就是個賊, 要受到懲罰, 但是如果我偷走了他人妻子的愛情, 我沒事兒。”

　　This is a prevalent misconception in many people's minds---that love, like merchandise, can be "stolen". Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for "alienation of affections".

　　這是許多人心目中普遍存在的一種錯誤觀念——愛情, 像商品一樣, 可以 “偷走”。實際上，許多州都頒布法令，允許索取“情感轉讓”賠償金。

　　But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.

　　但是愛情并不是商品；真情實意不可能買到，賣掉，交換，或者偷走。愛情是志愿的行動，是感情的轉向，是個性發揮上的變化。

　　When a husband or wife is "stolen" by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The "love bandit" was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.

　　當丈夫或妻子被另一個人“偷走”時，那個丈夫或妻子就已經具備了被偷走的條件，事先已經準備接受新的伴侶了。這位“愛匪”不過是取走等人取走、盼人取走的東西。

　　We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children "belonging" to their parents. But nobody "belongs" to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents' trusteeship.

　　我們往往待人如物。我們甚至說孩子“屬于”父母。但是誰也不“屬于”誰。人都屬于自己和上帝。孩子是托付給父母的，如果父母不善待他們，州政府就有權取消父母對他們的托管身份。

　　Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder---but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that "caused" the break, but the lack of a real relationship.

　　我們多數人年輕時都有過戀人被某個更有誘惑力、更有吸引力的人奪去的經歷。在當時，我們興許怨恨這位不速之客---但是后來長大了，也就認識到了心上人本來就不屬于我們。并不是不速之客“導致了”決裂，而是缺乏真實的關系。

　　On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a "third party". This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.

　　從表面上看，許多婚姻似乎是因為有了“第三者”才破裂的。然而這是一種心理上的幻覺。另外那個女人，或者另外那個男人，無非是作為借口，用來解除早就不是完好無損的婚姻罷了。

　　Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others---they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.

　　因失戀而痛苦，因別人“插足”于自己與心上人之間而圖報復，是最沒有出息、最自作自受的樂。這種事總是歪曲了事實真相，因為誰都不是給別人當俘虜或犧牲品——人都是自由行事的，不論命運是好是壞，都由自己來作主。

　　But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him--- and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.

　　但是，遭離棄的情人或配偶無法相信她的心上人是自由地背離他的——因而他歸咎于插足者心術不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠師、竊賊或破壞家庭的人。然而，從大多數事例看，一個家的破裂，是早在什么“第三者”出現之前就開始了的。